How to Decode: “No Matter What I Do It’s Not Good Enough”

26 February 2015 by , No Comments

Have you ever heard your partner, child/teenager, parent or boss say this – “no matter what I do it’s not good enough”? More importantly, have you ever felt or hurled this sentence out of your lips?

When you feel like no matter what I do it’s not good enough, you are probably feeling discouraged, often hopeless and defeated. You may be sensitive to criticism and have become a perfectionist to prevent or avoid these feelings. Or you may suffering from the Imposter Syndrome where you are fearful that if others really knew you, they may think ill of you, or judge. Thus you may be fearful of your faults being exposed.

What is really occurring deep in the recesses of your mind machine, is that you’re probably feeling like a failure or you’re afraid that others think that of you. Self-awareness is the first step to decoding this untrue story!

Next I suggest you become the observer by noticing this obsessive pattern in your mind. We seem to think we need to believe what our minds say – this is a myth! I will frequently say to myself “I see you fearful thought.” Once you become the observer you start to distance from it. Feel any feelings that come with this fear whether it’s anger, sadness, hopelessness or shame. Don’t engage with it. Don’t believe it.

The more you practice this, the less intense your feelings become. As well, you are changing your brain and releasing old patterns that your mind automatically shifts to. This is a mindfulness exercise that is worth practicing and extremely effective.

Finally, allow yourself to feel self-compassion. This fear of not being good enough or failing was learned as a young child and isn’t true. I know it feels true, however it is NOT.

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